Super villain is hiring for new position as side-kick, as usual side-kick is going on holiday.
Current side-kick “I need a break, I’ve booked a holiday”
Villain “but we’ve a got job coming up, what side -kick takes annual leave?
Side-kick leaves, suitcase in hand, dressed in shorts and Hawaiian shirt but still with mask on
Villain storms past butler making him spin round, and shouts “find me an apprentice”
Candidates are awful villains – clumsy, useless powers, no common sense,
Candidate 1 – fast food guy – super-power, ketchup guns, large man burger in hand all the time, milkshake in a tool belt. sauce stain down his front, cap is a burger. Does not speak
Candidate 2 – superpower – death stare, that does not actually work, excited, very skinny, clumsy – drops things, falls over, moves too fast, creased homemade outfit, too short in the leg, badly sewn.
Candidate 3 – child, hoody. street – smart, wanna be gangster. Super-power tantum – throws himself on the floor kicking and screaming reverbs people away. Steals stuff, has to be home by certain time as his mum told him to be in.
Interview / fitness trial – which they all do badly.
Assault course –
- Candidate 1 just stands there eating burger, walks through tyres but gets each one caught on his feet, so stops and eats his burger, drinks his shake.
- Candidate 2 – slips over, gets caught in the net, runs in to climbing wall, hands just slip down the rope
- Candidate 3 – “I’m the best at jungle Jim / park..i own it’. Completes the course. Pulls out a knife to cut the net to free candidate 2. Falls after, cries “I got a boo-boo’ butler has to put a plaster on his knee and he gets a lollipop and a sticker.
- Candidate 1 just stands there eating burger drinking shake, bullet from another candidate hits his milkshake which explodes all over him, he continues eating burger.
- Candidate 2 terrible aim, almost shoots own foot loading gun, misses target, bullets flying everywhere. Swings gun around, everyone dives to the floor except burger man.
- Candidate 3 very good, hits target plus others, including civilian targets that he not supposed to hit, then throws gun down and starts beating up / stabbing cardboard target. Villain has to go and get him, bringing him back by the scruff of his next / by his ear / under his arm.
At end of trial candidates all exhausted, muddy, candidate 3 says something, burger man pulls out his ketchup gun and squirts him in the face.
One has to be hired. Villain ponders applicants in desperation, talks to butler. In background candidates are getting in to further trouble. Conversation between butler and villain identifies that the boy scored the highest but his behaviour was the worse and he can’t be out after dark. Offers job to child but he then says “whats the time?...I gotta go, my mums gonna kill me”
- candidate 2 is chosen.
- candidate 1 wont fit in the car.
As they leave for the job the butler / caretaker / robot says to main villain “Feeling confident?.............