From Script To Screen: OGR Part Two

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1 comment:

  1. OGR 08/02/2016

    Hey Tom - firstly - apologies!!!

    Okay - you're script now reads very well, and I like very much the quick, visual way in which you show us the house is sold and introduce the dog etc. I think you've resolved your three components successfully. One of the requirements of the submission is that you submit a 'presentation standard' storyboard, which means that you seek to communicate your story to clients; this means upping the technical quality of your drawings and demonstrating knowledge of storyboarding conventions (illustrated camera moves etc). While your current storyboard reads well enough, I do encourage you to polish and refine your direction of your story so that others can follow it effortlessly. I'd also suggest that perhaps you might consider the panelling out of the action scenes towards the end, as it does seem as if there are opportunities for a greater variety of shots in order to give this sequence lots of dynamism; for example, intercutting between close-ups of the gnome's face, back to the snoozing dog, back to the gnome's face etc (to create tension) and also, when there are moments of action and interaction (the fishing line moment etc) really looking at using montage editing (quick paced collections of shots) to up the 'action movie' element. I guess I'm saying that while you've communicated the through-line of your action, you haven't quite got to grips with 'directing it' as excitingly as you could.

    In terms of character design, I think you need to push your design on through a few more iterations; if you were truly readying this guy for Maya, you'd discover that his very short legs would make him very difficult to animate. I think you need to look at his proportions in terms of design, and also at the way in which you're distinguishing his arms and legs - he looks very fused together, and while a real gnome would have this quality, I think you need to approach the design of him a little differently: check out these references for some guidance (and notice too how the gnomes in these examples are form from very specific shapes; look at the body, at the head, at the arms, at the legs, and notice they all start of as strong basic shapes).