Outline plan:-
Super villain is hiring for new position as side-kick, as
usual side-kick is going on holiday.
Current side-kick “I need a break, I’ve booked
a holiday”
Villain “but we’ve a got job coming
up, what side -kick takes annual leave?
Side-kick leaves, suitcase in hand,
dressed in shorts and Hawaiian shirt but still with mask on
Villain storms past butler making
him spin round, and shouts “find me an apprentice”
Candidates are awful villains – clumsy, useless powers, no
common sense,
Candidate 1 – fast food guy – super-power,
ketchup guns, large man burger in hand all the time, milkshake in a tool belt. sauce
stain down his front, cap is a burger. Does not speak
Candidate 2 – superpower – death stare,
that does not actually work, excited, very skinny, clumsy – drops things, falls
over, moves too fast, creased homemade outfit, too short in the leg, badly
sewn.
Candidate 3 – child, hoody. street –
smart, wanna be gangster. Super-power tantum – throws himself on the floor
kicking and screaming reverbs people away. Steals stuff, has to be home by
certain time as his mum told him to be in.
Interview / fitness trial – which they all do badly.
Assault course –
-
Candidate 1 just stands there eating burger,
walks through tyres but gets each one caught on his feet, so stops and eats his
burger, drinks his shake.
-
Candidate 2 – slips over, gets caught in the
net, runs in to climbing wall, hands just slip down the rope
-
Candidate 3 – “I’m the best at jungle Jim /
park..i own it’. Completes the course. Pulls
out a knife to cut the net to free candidate 2. Falls after, cries “I got a
boo-boo’ butler has to put a plaster on his knee and he gets a lollipop and a
sticker.
Shooting range
-
Candidate 1 just stands there eating burger
drinking shake, bullet from another candidate hits his milkshake which explodes
all over him, he continues eating burger.
-
Candidate 2 terrible aim, almost shoots own foot
loading gun, misses target, bullets flying everywhere. Swings gun around,
everyone dives to the floor except burger man.
-
Candidate 3 very good, hits target plus others,
including civilian targets that he not supposed to hit, then throws gun down
and starts beating up / stabbing cardboard target. Villain has to go and get
him, bringing him back by the scruff of his next / by his ear / under his arm.
At end of trial candidates all exhausted,
muddy, candidate 3 says something, burger man pulls out his ketchup gun and
squirts him in the face.
One has to be hired. Villain ponders applicants in
desperation, talks to butler. In background candidates are getting in to
further trouble. Conversation between butler and villain identifies that the
boy scored the highest but his behaviour was the worse and he can’t be out
after dark. Offers job to child but he
then says “whats the time?...I gotta go, my mums gonna kill me”
- candidate 2 is chosen.
- candidate 1 wont fit in the car.
As they leave for the job the butler / caretaker / robot
says to main villain “Feeling confident?.............
